Monday, April 2, 2012

I don't know what to do

Really and honestly I don't. I can't seem to restrict, I only seem to gain weight (I was 125lbs this am). I ate like crap yesterday, and today isn't shaping up to be that great either. I need to eat my way back down to 900 a day.

I have nothing else to add. I had intended to write out a long post but I have apparently lost the words.


  1. I stumbled across you a few weeks ago now. I have been fascinated by your ideologies and moral philosophies regarding your mission for weight loss. As you would know you are this way because it's the only thing you can control and have become accustom to the sympathy, empathy and attention you get from your eating disorder. You think you are fat because after every meal because your stomach and body seems to loose it's definition. It's because the definition you think you achieved is actual your body dehydrated and overtime you allow yourself a somewhat large meal you body will regain hydration and thus will swell up and make you seem fat. This is due to the malnutrition you put your body through and once you eat something your body absorbs you nutrients in the food. I was a successful amateur boxer and turned professional in 2008. My sport required me to loose vast amounts of weight in short periods of time in order to make the correct weight for a certain division, i have lost unto 6kg in a 24 hour period. I know first hand that eating after you have placed your body under fasting will create on overall swollen look. However, if you utilise physical exercise on a regular basis and correct dieting your body will maintain a healthy weight and one you feel comfortable with without the need for fasting.

    If your problem is that fact you cannot get you desired body type (figure) you are seeking it's due to your muscle formation. No matter what the desired body type you are seeking is, certain exercise will allow you to shape and reconfigure your body to how you want it. I am a enthusiast of Anthropological human genetic studies and what science shows is depending on your genes and race it will define what physique you have, so if your a Caucasian depending what sub-type of Caucasian human you are will in turn define what figure and exercise you will need to achieve the desired look.

    I also want to bring to your attention the fact you have defined unique features and your facial structure is the desired type throughout the modelling industry, so do not consider yourself ugly, because you are not and infect your facial structure due to your diets has defined your cheek bones as your body has converted certain muscles into energy and the human body favours certain muscles when doing this.

    Allot of girls who suffer what you suffer are very lonely beautiful women who are outcast in western society, however in european cultures you are the aryan of women. It's a real upsetting documentation you have created and I feel such sadness for you knowing that you are led to believe no one cares about you and looks to you as an outcast when you show such potential intellectually and such natural beauty individually. I may not know you but if social networking and the internet can provide you anything its the observations of others. Take what i have told you here into consideration and know that someone out there does not want someone with the potential you indicate to have to waste their life and focus energy into their appearance that realistically glows.

  2. Why not just try to finish out today with a moderate amount of calories and start fresh tomorrow? And tomorrow drink a large glass of water or tea or other no-cal or low cal drink 15-30 minutes before you eat. Even before a small snack. It'll make you feel fuller sooner and keep you hydrated. And if you like green tea, it's good for boosting your metabolism. Hopefully you can get back on track with your calories soon.

  3. We all believe in you! Keep going, never give up <3