I'm so hungry I could cry

Today I decided to allow myself up to 750 calories. Why? Because I woke up this morning and could not get out of bed. I was shaking and nauseous and very very dizzy. It took all my strength and a good 40 minutes to gather myself together and trudge to the scale. 120.2lbs. Wow a measly 0.4lbs down from yesterday. That seemed worth it. I then trudged myself to the kitchen and got this little box of cereal I took from the hotel last weekend and ate that (80 cals + 30 for sugar). Then I trudged myself to the grocery store and bought 2 small potatoes.

Also as a note, when I list things like milk or butter or gravy, they are all always vegan substitutes. I just get annoyed having to write out vegan this or vegan that, as I just think of them as butter, milk, gravy and the regular stuff does not register to me as food.

So today food wise went:
weight @ 9:40am- 120.2lb
breakfast @ 10:00am- dry cereal 80 cals + cane sugar 30 cals
lunch @ 12:45pm- mashed potatoes 168 cals + butter 5 cals + garlic 6 cals + sour cream 60 cals + potato fixings 25 cals
supper @ 5:10pm- hash browns 168 cals + pam 24ish cals + 1/4 cup gravy 104 cals
Total: 682 cals

I eased up on the exercise today, since I keep getting the shakes.
Exercise:
Treadmill for half and hour- 146 cals
Leg Press- 5 sets of 10 each at 45lbs
Inner Thigh- 3 sets of 10 each at 45lbs
Outer Thigh- 3 sets of 10 each at 45lbs
Total: 146 cals (though I should probably figure out a guesstimate with the weight training, but I tend to only count cardio)

Net: 536 cals

My roommate just left for the evening, I'm so tempted to binge and purge. I'm planning on what it could be on. I could do it multiple times. I don't want to give into it though. I really don't. But part of me wants it so badly that it's getting hard to ignore. It's been over a week, part of me is saying do it just today, come on you've already eaten this much, do it. You're a fat fuck you might as well eat.

Also I've decided that when I loose 10lbs I will post a photo of myself. Maybe even with my face, but probably somehow cleverly covered.