Friday, September 10, 2010

Sleep...Need Sleep

I slept on the couch last night because I was too exhausted to clean my bed off. I feel so rundown and I know a major part of it is the restricting, though my life has been busy these past few weeks. I, unlike a normal healthy person, can't work more than 30 hours a week without feeling like death warmed over, let alone add any type of social life on top of it. It fucking sucks. I'm more capable now than I was even a year ago, but it still pisses me off that regular everyday life drains me so much. Depression sucks. Even though I don't feel depressed all the time now, I still have all the lovely physical symptoms. A few months back I was even given uppers by my doctor to fight how tiered I feel all the time (and I had lovely heart palpitations which we figured was from my anxiety) but they kept me up late and I never got any sleep (since I'm up at 6 am pretty much everyday).

I couldn't get to the gym today, as I had to make dinner for a woman from work whose child recently died (we volunteered to cook for her and husband for the next month or so so they don't have to worry about it). It took me longer to get ready to leave the apartment this morning to grocery shop, so by the time it was done I had to get ready for work. I would have gone after work, but that depended on me getting the bus like 4 minutes after I was off and then only having about an hour in the gym, if nothing was delayed. And that's not how our metro transit system likes to work.

Ended up having my Dad pick me up from work as I somehow left all my deodorant at his house, then he was going to drive me to the bridge terminal but I told him I needed cat litter soon, and since we buy it from Costco, he went there instead (looking for binoculars). Then we ended up at Canadian Tire, and I didn't get home till almost 8. Managed to get a load of laundry on so I have been a bit productive today. I was going to clean my room tomorrow but got a call from work about working tomorrow and since I have no scheduled shifts on the horizon I took it, even though the thought of working makes me want to cry.

I did well today with restricting
Weight @ 730 am-121.6lbs
Breakfast @ 855 am-rice noodles 192 cals
Lunch @ 1120am-apple crisp granola bar 85 cals
Supper @ 840pm-apple crisp granola bar 85 cals
Total- 362 cals

Not bad. I would have liked to have added some exercise on top of it, but hey, I would never be satisfied even if I did.


  1. Good work restricting! Don't worry too much about the exercise, just keep at it & stay strong. Depression sucks, but don't give up- just keep pushing through- you can do it! xxx

  2. wow you have so much control, that intake sounds fab. i envy you!
    just make sure you dont run yourself down too much hun, as it could end in a binge. just keep strong on what you are doing.

  3. Thanks girls. I'm trying to listen to my body, I know tomorrow I'm probably going to need to eat some more, especially since I plan on working out.