Wednesday, December 7, 2011


Just set up my ED twitter.

Follow me. I'm awesome.

Grumble Grumble Grumble

Three days of eating? Gain three pounds. Gotta fix that ASAP. I want to be 120lbs or under for sunday. I am taking my diet pills again. I will not eat unless I'm with someone. And only once a day. No snacks. No eating at work.

I think I'm going to start an ED twitter and tumblr. When I do I'll post the info here for people to follow.

Friday, December 2, 2011


Slowly creeping down. Slowly. Slowly. Slowly.

I have my Xmas work party on Sunday night. My stomach is too big for my dress. The boyfriend offered to buy me a new dress. I still might try to find a new one, and save this dress for new years when hopefully I'm a lot smaller than I am now.

I need to break through my current plateau of 123ish pounds. I can't seem to get below it. I need to trigger myself into not giving in. I'm going to watch a bunch of ED related stuff which always seems to work. As well as just putting on the windows image viewer and watch my huge thinspo folder flick by on my screen. Never want to eat again after I do that.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

New Month, New Start

Glad to report that my mania seems to be under control. I'm no longer believing that I'm immortal and that I need to attempt suicide so I can know what death is like. When mania ends you get the lovely sensation of having been completely off your rocker. Like WTF kind of thought is that? Also I got a ton of new scars. As cutting up my body made sense because it didn't look right with a pattern on it, like a zebra or a tiger. See, crazy thoughts. I'm pretty sure I just pissed off my therapist too, I was very difficult. I went from crying, to raging, to not talking, to laughing manicly over and over again. Whee fucked up ness!

So new month, new start. I'm 126lbs today. Way behind my goal to be 110lbs by Xmas. Today is also payday. Going down to the store to buy supplies for the Master Cleanse. I'm not doing the diet traditionally, as I will allow myself some nights of having a small supper (less than 400 calories), but if I can get away with not eating, I won't have anything.

I'm so far behind in university work. Damn fucking mania. Gotta get on that. Also gotta get my ass in gear today. Got a bunch of errands to run, and I must shower first.