Glad to report that my mania seems to be under control. I'm no longer believing that I'm immortal and that I need to attempt suicide so I can know what death is like. When mania ends you get the lovely sensation of having been completely off your rocker. Like WTF kind of thought is that? Also I got a ton of new scars. As cutting up my body made sense because it didn't look right with a pattern on it, like a zebra or a tiger. See, crazy thoughts. I'm pretty sure I just pissed off my therapist too, I was very difficult. I went from crying, to raging, to not talking, to laughing manicly over and over again. Whee fucked up ness!
So new month, new start. I'm 126lbs today. Way behind my goal to be 110lbs by Xmas. Today is also payday. Going down to the store to buy supplies for the Master Cleanse. I'm not doing the diet traditionally, as I will allow myself some nights of having a small supper (less than 400 calories), but if I can get away with not eating, I won't have anything.
I'm so far behind in university work. Damn fucking mania. Gotta get on that. Also gotta get my ass in gear today. Got a bunch of errands to run, and I must shower first.
I'm glad your feeling a little better <3 We are all crazy in our own little ways, but it's not necessarily bad :) Makes us unique!! You can lose that weight before xmas :) Just concentrate on your goal and stick to a diet :) xx
ReplyDeleteThose are very scary thoughts. You're seeing someone, like a therapist, right? I'm just glad you've got those thoughts under control now. Now you can focus on your diet and losing those pounds for your goal!
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself, hun.
xx