Saturday, September 17, 2011

One more day till d-day

And I find out my weight. Well I peeked today, but that doesn't count.

Thank you to both miss alisha and Skeleton Strong for the welcomes back. Skeleton Strong-they suspect bipolar disorder but I haven't been diagnosed yet. The stupid people at community mental health said I have personality disorder not otherwise specified and that I don't need any more help. My doctor and therapist think they are quacks. My therapist wants to refer me to the mood clinic so I'm going to ask my doctor next week to refer me there. Then we should know either way. I'm on abilify because of my delusions and hallucinations, which could mean bipolar. I happen to think that that is what is wrong, as does most people around me.

I spent an hour at the gym yesterday, man I feel really out of shape. I exercised hard in the beginning of the summer and I have slipped so far since then. I could feel my ass jiggling as I ran. EEP. Well I'm going to the gym for a minimum of 3 days a week, and if I can I will try to go at least one other day. Right now I can't afford the learn to run clinic (my mom was teaching me, she is a marathon runner, but I just don't seem to run like she does, plus she lives in another city). I hope to save up for it. Possibly for November.

I feel so much clear headed than I have in ages. I think it's because of the meds. I have been doing really well sticking to my 900 cals a day. I really want to do a juice fast or liquid only fast sometime soon. I just need to come up with a convincing reason for the boyfriend. Perhaps if I explain it as some sort of detox...I'm sure I'll come up with something.

1 comment:

  1. I really hope you find out what you have and get the help you need! Good luck in the mood clinic! That sucks about the gym, that's what happened to me too and I ended up gaining so much! Don't let this happen to you!!! Good luck on the detox, have you tried the master cleanse?