Sunday, December 5, 2010

I'm not having the best day...

...emotionally that is. I've been on the verge of smashing things then breaking down in tears for no reason. Now that my essay is done my brain is shifting it's attempts to not let me get shit done. I had a emotional therapy session last week, not tears and stuff, but of the fact that I may need to be accessed to see if I'm clinically psychotic. And that has been messing with my head. Because the label is so negative my brain has done what it does best, loosing its ability to focus, and thus me becoming almost inept at life.

Officially weighed in at 120.0lbs. Somehow. Even with my binging. I've taken to purging in the shower, which is dangerous since I slowed up the bathroom sink from puring in it, and our shower drain is super slow. Gotta buy some draino, even if me and the roommate are morally opposed to it. Just nothing we have tried has cleared it up.

6 comments:

  1. What makes you think you're psychotic? I know the feeling of being unable to concentrate. It sucks...and really makes life hard. I hope things look up for you!

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  2. OMG, yeah, I'd be too scared to purge in sinks and showers, those get clogged so easily! I purge in the toilet, which I know is gross, sticking my head in there and all...but whatev...I hope things get better for you, love.

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  3. Does that mean vinegar and baking soda don't actually work on drains? If you can get away with it, in college I'd purge into a bucket in the shower, flushing its contents afterwards.

    Those chaotic, destructive moods are the best time to work out. Clear your mind and focus on your first goal weight milestone. Congrats.

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  4. Plunger? :S I purge in the toilet.. and I hope everything goes ok for you, let us know how it all turns out hun <3 stay strong

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  5. We think I may be pyscotic because I'm having visiaul and auditory hallucination.

    I generally purge in the toilet, but I find the sound travels in my apartment, and thus isn't good to purge there even with the shower on as I think my roommate can hear me.

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  6. Oh sweetie :( Please stay strong, we are all here to support you. When you are next in a destructive mood, work out! You get so much more done when you get into these moods..and plus when you get out of it, you will feel so much better about yourself too :) xx

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