Tuesday, February 22, 2011


...the boyfriend knocked over one of my journals a few weeks ago and found out about my eating disorder. Last week we had a whole ordeal, and I had to admit it out loud to him. I'm unsure how I feel about it. I told him if he told anyone I couldn't handle it, and I'm not ready to get better. He said okay. I said I don't want to talk about it, and he said we'd let the subject drop for now, but it's not off the table completely. Since then I haven't spent much time out of his company. I think he's trying to make sure I eat, even if it's complete crap safe food (lately it's been vegan yogurt).

I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow (they opened up an extra day this week and called me). Things I need to talk to him about (and not just say fine for how I'm doing):
-not sleeping due to demons
-self harm thoughts
-return of the suicidal thoughts
-anxiety getting out of hand, and if I should be on meds
-should I be evaluated for psychosis.


  1. Sorry about your boyfriend. Hope things go well with your therapist. I can definitely sympathize on the no sleep/demons. Have you tried exorcism powder? (I know it sounds ridiculous, but they don't mean literal exorcism) It cleanses a space of negative energies. And it has worked for me. <3


  2. I hope everything's okay with your boyfriend! The same thing happened to me. Back when my ex and I were dating, he wondered why I didn't eat much and then one day he came over and stumbled on my blog while he was on my laptop and found out the truth. We had a talk about it but ever since he's watching that I eat something.