...the boyfriend knocked over one of my journals a few weeks ago and found out about my eating disorder. Last week we had a whole ordeal, and I had to admit it out loud to him. I'm unsure how I feel about it. I told him if he told anyone I couldn't handle it, and I'm not ready to get better. He said okay. I said I don't want to talk about it, and he said we'd let the subject drop for now, but it's not off the table completely. Since then I haven't spent much time out of his company. I think he's trying to make sure I eat, even if it's complete crap safe food (lately it's been vegan yogurt).
I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow (they opened up an extra day this week and called me). Things I need to talk to him about (and not just say fine for how I'm doing):
-not sleeping due to demons
-self harm thoughts
-return of the suicidal thoughts
-anxiety getting out of hand, and if I should be on meds
-should I be evaluated for psychosis.