another heartbreak

I had a health scare last week. Been getting horrible heart palpitations, and pain, with dizziness and lightheadedness. So I freaked out. Been to the doctor, we are working on things etc. Till I got into my doctor I made an attempt to eat normally. No binging, no purging, no restriction. It was really hard. I was tempted the whole time to either binge, or to throw out what I was eating, or to purge after I ate.

Now, since I've been ordered to rest for the rest of this week (no work, which sadly equals no money for this week, though Dad said he'd help with my bills since that will keep me home). Which means I shouldn't need to eat as much.

I'm unsure what I weigh right now, when I have checked it's been holding steady at 121lbs. So I think my metabolism is actually working right now. I hope to try to keep to around 800cals (to stave off binging) and doing about a half hour of exercise a day. This week it has to be light exercise since walking places is making me huff and puff (as is going up and down the one flight of stairs to my apartment, on top of the heart thing, my doctor thinks I'm getting a chest infection).

On a sad note, my trip to Phoenix was cancelled since my Moms vacation was cut into and she felt it wasn't worth her time. Which has royally pissed me off. I'm literally so angry I could cry. But it's not the first time the military has fucked me over and it won't be the last. I really needed a vacation, which she does not get. So she would have had a 7 day vacation instead of a 12, but apparently that wasn't worth it to her. But she plans on going at the end of March, but I told her that doesn't work for me (hello end of term) but whatever, as long as she gets what she wants.