Tuesday, August 31, 2010

I'm the worst girlfriend ever

I purged at my boyfriends house last night. I binged on some potato wedges. And of course my stomach was stretched to the limits (it was actually hard to the touch), and something came over me. I started saying how I thought I was going to be sick and that bile was rising up my throat. The BF sends me to the bathroom and wham, bam, thank you mam, I stick my fingers down my throat and up it comes.

I'm also spending this week at my Dads house, with his analog scale which I'm never quite sure of my weight. My mother is supposed to fly in on Friday night, but we might get hit by a hurricane so my weekend is all up in the air. I'm trying to be good this week by not purging, and I did well yesterday restricting until the binge at my boyfriends. Tonight I have a dinner with work and part of me is terrified that I won't be able to purge at the restaurant (as I know the restaurant, a lot of stalls and a lot of co workers=no chance). I don't want to have to take laxatives when I get home, but I know I'll be so stressed about it that I'll end up doing it.


  1. Good luck with everything. Hope you stay safe and well. <3

  2. your weight loss is incredible! such an inspiration..helps me to believe that i will lose the numbers i want eventually :) if you're ever bored check out my blog www.thequestforaskinnyme.blogspot.com - i'd love your support! xx

  3. I am the worst wife. My husband and I are traveling with our baby son, and we decide to stop at taco bell.

    I couldn;t help it, I wanted to eat. I ordered to much and he sat across from me looking at what I had ordered in disbelief. he was like, omg, you ordered 8 fucking dollars worth of taco bell. I cannot believe you would do that. What the HELL is wrong with you? That is so much fucking food.

    and the whole time I am eating, and finally I just say STOP. okay.

    and I get up and go to the bathroom and puke it all up.

    and he has no idea.

    smile. I am the worst.