Boost Day

That is what I decided today is. And probably tomorrow too. I'm eating a more to hopefully trick my body into thinking I'm not starving. The thought of putting on weight terrifies me so I'm not checking my scale in the morning. I don't think I can handle more than two days doing this though. It feels too bingey for me.

I haven't written anything today, which is what I needed. I was getting too many thoughts all at once, today I mostly was sorting through them. I plotted out the first part of the story (the first arch so to speak) and now just filling in the details. I'm still uber excited about it though.

I didn't end up getting the exercise bike, but I did buy a stair climber. Got it for 30% off too. Dad says he will give me half the money for it too. Which he doesn't need to do, but hey, that is great. It's all set up in the living room now. I have lost all conditioning that I had prior to my suicide attempt. Speaking of that, I need to call my gym. They have the wrong financial information for me and I haven't been paying my dues. They also haven't called me. Dad thinks it's because they called me one day when I was in the hospital and I told them I was there, and they apologized. They may have put my account on hold or whatever its called when someone can't come in for medical reasons. I hope so.