Wednesday, March 7, 2012

I do not consider myself Pro-Ana

I never have. I understand that some people use to term for solidarity, I accept that, and can see the difference between wannabes and people who have an eating disorder. I accept that some people still want to use the term. I do not. If I am pro anything I am Pro-Reality of Eating Disorders. This blog, and my twitter, are part of the ways I cope with living with this mental illness everyday of my life. It is not about a diet. Hell I even know it's not about weight. It's complex and messy and not something glamorous that I wouldn't wish on anyone. I support you wherever you are in your eating disorder, whether that is in it all the way, recovering, recovered, relapsing, whatever stage you are in.

That said I am back to 119lbs. See serious first paragraph, inappropriate second paragraph. I can't escape the lure of the scale, the need to take up less space. I'm too much.


  1. God I hate that feeling, "I'm too much"
    I know it so well, god damn everything is too much. Safe foods become too much, life becomes too much, the scale is too much...
    Your pic here made me LOL out loud, it's always the sentence running in the back of the mind when I'm talking to friends trying to coax me out.

    More importantly, I THANK YOU for posting about the reality of ed's. It actually amazes me how little the outside world accurately knows about ed's, and even more so, people scouring the internet looking for anadiets and tipzntrix.
    It couldn't be more far from the truth.
    love always,

  2. All ed's are a messy business, they control our lives and control everythig we do, But soon, i hope, one day we will all be recovered <3

  3. I completely agree with you. I would never wish this shit on anyone. And then people ask for tips. arrrrr. Tip one. Don't read this. Tip two. Don't fucking go head first down the fabbit hole. Fuck sakes. I hear you. :) Xo

  4. I agree with the first section completely. Its such a harsh and terrible disease. People who view it as a lifestyle choice really make me sick to think of.

    I hope you keep on hanging in there. I don't believe you take up too much space at all, I really wish that one day you'll be happy and free of this mental prison. xx