The problem becomes that I don't want to live.
I don't know how to keep living like this. This overwhelmed me and I tried to kill myself.
People keep telling me I will learn how to deal. I've been trying for 10 years to learn how to deal. Nothing has worked. Nothing has helped.
Pills, therapy, cutting, binging, purging, burning, talking, crying, screaming, kicking, restricting, isolating, socializing, secrets, openness, smacking, punching.
I am just existing. I have no hope for getting help properly this time around with everyones great concern, it seems to be repeating the failures of last summers attempt to get help.